An Ivy League of My Own: All You Need is a Dollar and a Dream

For Chandler, Shannon, Becca, and Tim... Thanks for keeping me inspired. <3

There is a tradition amongst my family and friends: When someone leaves for a trip, a dollar bill is separated into halves and each person is given a piece to carry with them for the duration of their journey. The purpose of this is to ensure a return since the dollar only has value when it is whole, complete, and back together. The words "Per Fortuna" (Which mean "Good Luck" in Italian) are written on the dollar to bring luck and safety to the traveller. When both parties are reunited, the dollar is reattached and sent out into the world to be used again.

I can't tell you how many dollar bills I've cut and handed out to people; there have been so many... But what I can tell you, is that the dollar has always been reattached and sent back out into the world...

With the exception of four times.

Those four half dollars were given to four very special people. They weren't people who were about to go on a trip, but they were about to be separated from me for an indefinite amount of time. However these dollars represent so much more than just "a separation"…. They aren't necessarily meant to be reconnected. On the contrary, they represent "a connection." The four people who hold the other halves of these dollar bills hold a special place in my heart and have made a profound impact on my life in some way or another. The words on those dollars symbolize either the element of their personality that I strongly admire and wish to embody myself, or a word that represents my relationship with that person. The idea is that as long as we each have our half dollar, we will always be connected (Think turtle doves in Home Alone 2).

I guess you could say that it's my way of telling someone how special they are to me, and how I will never forget them.

So in addition to the description of the original tradition I described above, recipients of these special half dollars also received the following addendum in their letter.

"Over time a new tradition evolved: To write a word on the dollar that represents the person I have split it with. I never use the same word twice because each person will always have something different to offer - so I use a word that will remind me of them when I look at their dollar. And for you, I have chosen the word "[whatever the word is]."

Here are those four special people their words, and why they their half dollars mean so much to me.

Dollar #1: "Strength and Discipline"

His name is Chandler. And he is the best dancer I know.

He is in fact such a great dancer, that one night when we were out dancing in Murray Hill, he dipped me so fiercely that he dipped me right into a high-top bar table where I slammed my head and and got a concussion.

Four months later I took him to my brother's wedding as my date and everyone thought he was my actual professional ballroom partner. He's that good.

But our story began way before that night.

Chandler was my very first customer at the bar I worked at in NYC, Kings Head Tavern.

After five minutes of talking to him, I intuitively knew that we would be friends… And I was right.

Maybe it was because he was at the bar so often with his buddies because they lived across the street, or maybe it was because whenever he was there we had so much fun, but over time, Chandler and I became very good friends. We would always do our signature shots of Jameson when he came in, and we started hanging outside of the bar when I joined his flag football team for Zog Sports. He always came in with the same crew; They were all good looking, fun, athletic, and very intelligent.

Oh yes, I said both athletic AND intelligent. Chandler was the captain of his college football team… and that college was Yale University.

He is also the most social guy I know - everyone who meets him absolutely adores him. He has this magical way of making you feel like you're his best friend, even five minutes after you meet him.

So when he came in to visit after his work day during happy hour, we would talk about the Ivy League (I went to Columbia which was a rival of Yale), his favorite football team (Broncos) vs. mine (Giants), or just life in general. He learned about my family, and I learned about his. As time went on, I became very fond of Chandler. I adored all the guys in his crew, but he was my favorite. I called him My Scarecrow. I even took him to my brother's wedding and he was the best date anyone could ask for. We spent the entire night on the dance floor (I told you he was a great dancer), and he closed out the night with my dad in the hotel bar doing shots of whiskey and talking football. He was not only sociable and fun, but he was a true friend.

He is also very strong and very disciplined.

Chandler knows that hard work is required for success… An exceptional athlete, he also recognized that training was vital to keep his body strong and he was disciplined enough to do the hard work when he needed to. Natural strength is necessary of course, but discipline is essential to supplement and maintain that strength… And as a testament to that strength and discipline, in 2006, Chandler led his football team to the Ivy League Championship… and won. But it didn't end there... He is now working as an assistant football coach for the Vanderbilt Football team down in TN.

Impressive, right?

As a professional dancer, I spent years turning down dinner invitations because I wanted to avoid eating anything that would make me gain weight. I spent endless nights nights in the dance studio rehearsing instead of out with friends (My line was always, "I can't, I have rehearsal."). I starved myself before ballroom competitions so that I my costumes would fit. I had to work really hard to be disciplined… and it wasn't easy.

So needless to say by the time I met Chandler, I was a bit burned out. And I started eating lots of Lindt white chocolate and lots of pizza.

But when I decided to move to Los Angeles a few years later, I knew that the west coast would not be the place to have a little "winter padding".

So I got myself back in dancing shape and prepared to move out west. But before I left, I chose three good friends that embodied some sort of quality that I knew I would need in LA.

Chandler was the first.

So when I look at my Chandler half dollar, I remember to stay disciplined, keep my body strong, and to avoid the Lindt White Chocolate.

I also think about how he can Double Dutch better than anyone I know.

Dollar #2: "Passion and Conviction"

Her name is Shannon. And she knows every word to almost every Disney song ever written.

This was demonstrated to me one night when we had a Disney movie marathon where we sang along (word for word) to every song from the films Aladdin, Mulan, and Pocahontas.

Her ringtone on my phone is "Make a Man out of You" from Mulan.

However that song is in no way indicative of who Shannon is. On the contrary, she is the personification of femininity. She's the girl who every guy wants to date, and every girl wants to be.

I first met Shannon in a Waltz class while I was in Grad school at Columbia. She had just graduated from the school the year before but was still involved in the ballroom program. I noticed her instantly - she was tall, beautiful, and very good at the waltz. She was also extraordinarily trendy - the girl has an incredible sense of fashion. She looked like the kind of girl who had everything … you know, one of those girls. Probably totally unapproachable, standoffish and snobby. So of course, I went over to her and introduced myself to her and asked her some stupid question about the combination, just to prove myself right.

She was the antithesis of everything I thought she would be.

We instantly became friends.

As time went on, we became very close. We shared an affection for Disney movies, fashion, and dance. I was living by myself up in Morningside Heights, and as fate would have it, when my lease was up, she happened to need a new roommate. The next thing I knew, I was moving 30 blocks south to my new digs at 81st and Broadway with her.

It was an awesome apartment, and we made some great memories there. Shannon worked for the New York Times, and I was bartending and dancing, so our hours at the apartment were total opposite. But we still made time for each, other especially on Sundays when we would go to our favorite brunch spot (French Roast), catch up, and shoot the shit about everything; from the men we were dating to the shoe sale at Saks.

Like I said, Shannon is beautiful. She is intelligent. She is also really trendy and cool. She's an amazing dancer, and she also is a super talented artist. She's kind, considerate, and always willing to lend an ear to listen, or advice to be used. But she is also has something that very few people have.

Conviction. When Shannon wants to do something, she does it. And she never half asses it. She sees it all the way through. When she started to get involve in Zouk, a Brazilian dance, she quit her job at the Times to move to South America and continue her training properly. THAT is conviction. She also puts everything she has into what she does. She is one of the most energetic people I know and it's one of the things I love most about her. Everything she does, she does it passionately and completely.

I have a tendency to not finish things that I start. Maybe it's because I dabble in so many different things, have so many options, and never know what I truly want to do (ie. grad school v. a pro dance career). Moving to Los Angeles meant that I would be running full steam ahead towards a professional acting career.... or at the least, a continuation of my dance career. I would need to keep my eye on that prize and not get distracted.

I would also have to remember that on the days when things weren't going so well, or the days when my feet were bloody from dancing for nine hours, that I truly loved what I was doing. That passion is essential to any profession in the arts.. it's a thankless and moneyless job where you have to sometimes literally scrape the bottom of the barrel to survive… It's really easy to walk away, or sell out.

I knew that when I moved to LA , I would need to remember that….. I would need to remember why I was there; for my passion of dance and entertainment industry... but I also needed to remember that I had to truly follow through on the decision I made move there. Not half ass it, but give it my all. I would need both passion and conviction…. just like Shannon has.

So when I look at my Shannon half dollar, I remember why I came here in the first place, and become motivated to keep going, even on the days when I want to quit.

And I think about how even on her most "dressed down and casual" days, she still looks perfect.. right down to her accessories.

Dollar #3: "Loyalty and Faith"

Her name is Becca. And she gives me wrinkles.

I love hanging out with her because she is the funniest person I know. I hate hanging out with her because she's giving me crow's feet from all the damn laughing we do together.

Becca is the true embodiment of a Renaissance Woman. She holds a Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering. She is a marathon runner. She has a beautiful singing voice (I even saw her sing at Carnegie Hall!). She plays an instrument. She's funny. Social. Beautiful. Kind. Compassionate. And she has a kick ass sense of adventure (we've traveled all over the world together).

She is totally Type A. I am totally Type B.

She is a responsible planner.. The girl won't do anything without thinking it through. I am impulsive, jump into things without thinking, and can barely keep a calendar.

She works hard for her money and maintains a solid budget. I spend my money on designer shoes and fancy restaurants.

She is open to dating all kinds of interesting and different men. I am unrealistically picky and won't go out with someone unless they fit into my very specific type-box.

She and I are totally the opposite.

But we are totally the best of friends. I love that girl like a sister.

We've also been to hell and back together.

I met Becca on two separate occasions. We both had the same summer job one year, and she also happend to go to Graduate School with my boyfriend.

I always joke around that I got Becca "in the divorce." And it's true. When my ex and I broke up, she did a great job of trying to stay friends with both of us. But he turned out to be an ass to her, totally cut her off, and so by default, I got her all to myself. My friendship with her was the best thing that came out of that relationship. She and I were both living in the city at that time and we lived it up... to the fullest.

She literally carried me through my break up. It was one of the darkest times of my life, but she somehow guided me through it, all the while, making me laugh. I also was present for her devastating breakup about a year later. We've seen each other through it all. The best part about Becca is that when I'm low, she always steps up (no matter what she's going through) and helps me through the rough patch. And when she is down, I always seem to muster up the strength to carry her through her dark spot. It's how we roll. There are ten thousand things that I love about her.

There really isn't enough space on my entire computer to talk about Becca. I've had more adventures with her than I have with any other friend. She is fiercely loyal, something I truly appreciate in a friend, and I honestly don't know what I would do without her. She's the kind of friend I can totally be myself around... I can call her at 2 am to cry to her when my heart is broken... I can interrupt her workday to tell her about the new gig I got. She's the kind of friend who will never judge, but always offer honesty. She always knows when to coddle, and when to give tough love. Every time I see her, we end up laughing.. Hard. She's funny as hell and makes me laugh so hard sometimes that I cry. We're like Lucy and Ethel.

But the thing I love most about Becca is that she truly believes in me. And she has ALWAYS supported every one of my crazy ideas and dreams. She has also been present for almost every competition, show, and exhibition I performed in while in New York City. And she always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. Her loyalty to me as a friend has never waned.. not through boyfriends, disagreements, nor through distance. I know I can go to her with anything, and she will never turn on me.

I can never truly articulate how grateful I am for Becca and her friendship over the years. She's an All-Star.

She constantly reminded me to follow my dreams, and to be open to any and every possibility. She was one of my biggest cheerleaders and always reminded me to have faith, even when I was at the lowest of the low.... her ever nagging reminder to "believe" became my mantra. She kept telling me over and over that things would get better. And she was right.. all I needed was a little faith.

So when I look at my Becca half-dollar, I remember to have faith, to believe in myself, and also that no matter what I do, I will always have her loyal support.

And I think about how I will need to start getting botox on my eyes if I spend anymore time with her.

Dollar #4: "Trust"

His name is Tim. And he is the only person I know who can beat me in Jeopardy.

While I can dominate him in the musical theater and history categories, his brain is an endless abyss of useless trivia and knowledge... He gets every question correct (and I have to say that even in my categories, he gives me a run for my money…. I mean, he knew that Alexander Hamilton was a senator from New York State and was shot dead by Aaron Burr during a duel… Come on, aside from history teachers and tenth graders, who knows that?!)

The guy is a walking encyclopedia… He's brilliant.

He can also do a foxtrot that would make Frank Sinatra croon out "The Way You Look Tonight' from his grave.

But upon first glance, you would never suspect any of this from the handsome lieutenant… I certainly didn't when I met him. He was a pilot in the Navy who had just returned from deployment and was visiting his family in NY. I was a dancer working a couple of gigs and vacationing in the NYC for the summer. We met through mutual friends, and after a night in the city filled with way too many Jameson shots, we got in a cab, and left the bar together.

I never thought I'd see him again. He moved to Hawaii, and I went back to LA.

The End. Or so I thought....

In October, I booked some dance work in Honolulu, so I decided to reach out to him to see if he wanted to meet up while I was there. I mean, if i was all the way there, why not stop by, grab a Mai Tai together, and catch up?

He agreed, and before I knew it, we were playing "getting to know" you though text messaging during the weeks prior to my trip. I learned a lot about him, and surprisingly started to look forward to hanging out with him again. But I tried to keep in mind that I had only spent a collective 12 hours with this guy…. this whole thing could have been a huge mistake.

But the second he pulled up to the Lihue Airport in his jeep and flight suit, any anxiety I felt was instantly assuaged. We immediately hit it off. It was like we had known each other for years.

I was only supposed to stay with him for three days. But then next thing I knew, I had rebooked my flight to leave a week later, and was being twirled around the dance floor in a Versace gown at the Navy Ball in the Grand Hyatt Kauai.

Sometimes, life is funny like that.

I ended up spending ten days in Hawaii with Tim. They were a magical ten days, and in that time, I got to see what an extraordinary guy he really was.

He reminded me of still water; Quiet and placid on the surface, but filled with an enigmatic matrix of great depth that was inaccessible and hidden to most people. However once I was able to dive below the surface, I discovered so many wonderful things about him. Not only is Tim easy going, fun, and cultured, but he is also both highly intelligent and extremely erudite. He's a stellar swimmer and an impressive surfer. He has strong, broad shoulders and a warm smile. It was easy to talk to him and I was surprised by how many common interests we actually had.

But what was most surprising of all was how easily I trusted him.

Trust is not something I offer to many people. I can count on one hand how many people I truly trust, and that number includes both my parents. But for some reason, I intuitively knew that I could trust him. And I really did. There was just something about him that made me feel safe.... As a result, I completely open my heart to him, something I hadn't done in years.

The day I left Hawaii, I put all my trust in the future.. I trusted that no matter what happened, each of our futures would lead us to where we needed to be; whether that meant together or apart. I trusted that things would work out the way that they were supposed to.

And they did... Just like they always do.

So when I look at my Tim half dollar, I remember to trust….not only in people, but also in my choices, and that things will always work out the way they are supposed to.

And I think about how his vocabulary is more extensive than the Webster's Dictionary.

These four people have each left a handprint on my heart. While we are all geographically in different corners of the world, I have made it a point to stay in touch with them as much as possible. And I keep their half dollars in a safe place; they are all attached to my wall as a daily reminder... to keep strong and disciplined, to have conviction and passion, to maintain my faith and loyalty, and to trust.

And someday, maybe those dollars will be reattached and sent back out into the world.. and maybe, just maybe, they will be able to inspire someone else the way they've inspired me.