An Ivy League of My Own: When Jersey "Met" Cali

To Cali: My California Angel, and the only man who can truly drive me crazy.

They say that certain people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Matt, a.k.a Cali, came into my life for all three.

It all began one idle weeknight during my first year of college, oh so many years ago.

I was sitting at my computer, staring at a blank word document, trying to will an english paper to write itself, when an AOL Instant Message box popped up on my screen. It was from a name I didn't recognize, but being a freshman in college, and living in a dorm, that was no surprise. People were always randomly im-ing me, getting my name from mutual friends.

The message was simple. It said, "Hey, are you going to the party tonight?"

I was intrigued. I hadn't heard about any party, but who was I to turn down an invitation?

I replied back, "No, but where is this fabulous party happening?"

When the next message named a fraternity house that my school didn't have, I realized that the message must have been sent by error. I explained this to the mysterious messenger. It turned out that he was trying to reach his friend who had a screen-name that was one letter off from mine.

Oops.

I also found out that the mysterious messenger's name was Matt, and that he was a sophomore at Loyola Marymount University, a school in Los Angeles, California…. clear across the country. And his fraternity was having a party that night.

So we talked for a few minutes, laughed about the mistake and said goodnight.

A few days later, we started randomly chatting again. Over time, Matt and I became friends. Instant messages turned into marathon conversations and long emails. I called him Cali, he called me Jersey. Then we started talking on the phone.

Everyone thought I was crazy.

"What if he's really a 45 year old stalker?" "What if he's a murderer?"

But for some reason, those ideas never crossed my mind; Cali was great! He always had good advice about guys, and he was really fun to talk to. We exchanged photos. We had heart to heart chats and talked about everything. I didn't have any friends on the west coast so it was interesting to learn about how college kids in California lived. I could tell him anything; it was like having a safe and trustworthy confidant who didn't know anyone I was talking about and therefore wouldn't go blabbing my secrets to anyone.

It was awesome.

The following autumn, I became seriously involved in a new relationship.. So did he. We would send each other occasional updates, but as time went on our friendship simmered down a bit as we became busy in our own individual lives. We maintained sporadic communication but it wasn't the same. Eventually it just fizzled out.

I guess you could say that this was the first season that Cali came into my life.

Fast forward six years. I was living down by Philadelphia. My boyfriend and I had just broken up. While cleaning out my email one day, I found an old email from Cali. I decided to email him to see if he remembered me. I was desperate to talk to someone who wasn't involved in my present life and could pose as a link to my past.

He emailed me back about five minutes later, from a LA Lakers game. Of course he remembered me! We decided to talk on the phone the next day to catch up.

And catch up we did. We talked for hours. I told him what was going on and it turned out that he was going through a very similar situation. It was so wonderful to talk to him again. We instantly reconnected and started talking regularly.

His friendship and support were a huge part of my recovery from that break up, and I was very grateful for his presence back in my life again, even if just from a virtual plateau.

Over the next year, I moved back to New York City, and eventually once again our friendship started to simmer down as we each got caught up in our new lives.

This was Cali's second season in my life.

The next year, I moved to Los Angeles, a city where I only really knew three people: Ryan (an old "friend" from New York), Kimberly, (a girl I met at a party in NYC and spent a collective 5 four days with), and Cali (a guy who I only knew through the internet).

Kim ended up being my roommate, Ryan ended up leaving me stranded in a parking lot (twice), and Cali ended up living about 15 minutes away from me.

I called him to let him know I had moved to LA, and we decided that the time had finally come to meet in person.

Did I mention that we had NEVER met face to face up to this point? It had now been nine years since that initial AOL message.

No pressure or anything.

I'll never forget the night I met Cali. I was wearing a blue dress, beige boots, and a beige coat. It was a cool Friday night in February. I was driving home from a dinner date with Ryan, when on impulse, I decided to call Matt up and see what he was up to.

He was at a Mexican restaurant in Venice with his friends and suggested that I come meet up with them.

So I did the thing that any sane person would have dissuaded me from doing: I showed up at a restaurant alone to meet up with five random men that I didn't know from a stranger on the street..

But it turned out to be such a fun night! We ended up bar hopping in Venice and having a blast.

I instantly fell in love with Matt; he was even better in person. It was like we had known each other for years… I guess because technically, we did.

After that, we started spending a lot of time together. Cali was my true knight in shining armor in Los Angeles. He constantly drove me around when I needed rides (I didn't have a car for almost six months after I moved there), he introduced me to all his friends, and he was always there to do the "traditional male" things that I needed help with. When I got a flat tire on the one and only rainy night in Los Angeles, without hesitation (although I'm sure he bitched about it), he showed up with a jack to change the tire for me. He helped me look for a car. He picked me up on the nights I was stranded. He looked at my car when I needed a mechanic. He drove me home on the nights I had too much to drink. He even tutored me in physics when I was trying to help one of my students with it (in fact, he even stepped in and tutored her a few nights, free of charge).

He was my true guardian angel.

I guess you could say this was the time when Cali came into my life for a reason. Without him, I don't think that I would have ever lasted in Los Angeles that first year. He literally carried me through that year.

Over time, he and I became close friends. We took our dogs hiking, went horseback riding, and hung out and watched movies. I even joined his softball team when they needed more girls (although I'll admit, I was terrible..)

Yet people always asked me why we weren't "together".

Well, that's a simple answer: We are polar opposites. Ironically enough, we both fall under the Pisces sign in the zodiac.. And we personify the symbol of the Pisces: Two fish swimming in the opposite directions.

Cali is the epitome of "a west coaster". He's extremely passive, low key, and chill. He moves at a glacial pace, he's totally uncommunicative, and extremely reticent.

I am the epitome of an "east coaster". I'm extremely aggressive, energetic, and passionate. I move fast, and am highly impatient. I'm also annoyingly garrulous and extremely emotional., always wanting to talk about my feelings.

We are the personifications of our respected coasts.

And the personifications of "Yin" and "Yang".

Needless to say, the guy drives me crazy. He's the only guy in my life who can make me laugh one moment, and scream the next.

But he always comes through when it counts, and I know that no matter what we're going through, when I really need him, he's there.

He's proven it countless times.

A lot went down between us over the past year…. There were a lot of good times, but a few bad ones too….There were tons of laughs, lots of tears, and even a few fights ( for the first time in ten years, I saw Matt truly angry). But we've always managed to keep the friendship alive.. even if it was only on life support.

And I know that no matter how crazy our lives get, he'll always be there when it counts.

I guess this is why you could say that he's here for a lifetime.

I could write a whole book about my relationship with Matt. From day one to the present, we've had countless stories and misadventures together. Cali is undoubtedly one of the leading men in the story of my life.

I adore the guy to pieces; He's one of my best friends. But he's the only guy who can truly drive me crazy.

And I can't picture my life without him in it.

And to think, it all began one idle Tuesday thanks to a slip of the finger and a misspelled AOL name.

If that's not friendship fate, I don't know what is.